It’s two weeks since my last post. Too long. Not my intention. Easy to explain I’ve been in transit, settling back in to home after ten weeks etc etc….
My head is full of ideas and things to share. Writing them and getting them out is another matter. It’s like the call that doesn’t get made. The email not written. Good intentions un-manifest. They weigh heavily.
Why is this? No single answer, I’m observing the process for clues!
One thing is interesting. As I’ve received positive feedback, I’ve become more self-conscious. Put myself under more pressure to deliver. To live up to expectations.
This is familiar territory. For us all. There is a liberation in being new. We might call it beginner’s luck. Early success in any endeavour flows from simply being our authentic self and having a go.
We then try to replicate and please our audience.
Years ago I watched an interview with Elton John. He disclosed his extreme anxiety before every stage performance. Anxiety that makes him vomit. How could this be I wondered? Such talent, so many performances, worldwide success, devoted fans.
That’s it. Not fear of making it. But fear of living up to what is expected.
Another thing. More often than not these “expectations” are self-created. They are not put upon us. We rarely check them out. We assume and in our assumptions we cramp our expression and our contributions.
So, there it is. My post. Open and honest. Without fear or favour.
All original material copyright 2014 manifestmylife
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